Not something I like to admit but it’s been making me feel very guilty. Lying started out as something to protect me from getting in trouble… but it turned into something else over the years. I would tell my friends a stories to make myself more interesting. It then turned into something I was not aware I was doing. Years went by and I thought about something I had just told my friend. I remember saying to myself “Wait… that’s not true.”I’ve hated myself for years because of my constant lying. Recently I had texted my sister and told her about all thing’s that I felt guilty about. I then got this app to express how I felt truthfully. Eventually on the same day telling my mother and we went to the hospital together to talk to my doctor. I told her I was only aware of the lie after I told it and was too embarrassed to correct myself out of shame. I don’t wanna be known as a liar… bc I hate liars. I told myself all the time that the only way to stop was to end it… so I decided to get help that day. My doctor smiled at me and said “At least you acknowledge your mistakes and are aware of your wrongdoing and want help!” That… made me feel a little better about myself… but I was still wondering why I do the things I do. I would not intentionally lie to hurt people… but to help them. I would also lie to make myself interesting and make others believe that I went through the same thing as them so they wouldn’t feel alone. I’d give advice and pretend to be something I was not. I would change who I was ever since I was little to make everyone happy and love me. I ended up forgetting who I actually am. I’m having a really rough time figuring out who I am. But…I acknowledge the things I do. Now I correct myself when speaking to my friends and tell them “I’m… sorry dude. I just lied…” Today I just felt I needed to tell the truth for once, hopefully this will be a new start. I haven’t lied on here tho.. bc I actually want help for my addiction to lying (or whatever the heck it is) My doctor thinks I have BPD. Is this a symptom of bpd?
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