Dealing with Paranoia About People Not in My Life

i always pick a "magic charm" to help with paranoia. i know that my paranoia is irrational, so i solve it with an irrational solution. like, i used to be afraid of something grabbing my leg if it hung over the edge of my bed, but it cant get me because I decided that my quilt is imbued with warding magic.

I suffer from the same. My therapist said they probably don’t even think about it or have a reason to want to hurt you. How often do you think about hurting them purposely just because it didn’t work out? You don’t. That group of strangers is laughing? Also not about you. Something was probably funny. How often do you laugh just because a stranger is walking by? That’s been working for me. Putting myself in that position. Would I be sitting around plotting revenge? No, I don’t waste the energy on my past. If it bothers you that much you could always send a “no hard feelings about the way we ended, I wish you the best in life” text.

The unknown can keep our minds preoccupied very easily, and it’s normal for your thoughts to go there if you’ve had adverse experiences in the past. Feeling the way you do is valid! The first thing I would recommend is a brain dump—basically set a timer and write out all the anxious thoughts in your head. Sometimes seeing them out on paper helps, or if you do better processing verbally, hearing them out loud. I find it difficult to not focus on those thoughts if I’m mostly keeping things in my head. It’s also worth it to have some affirmations of your worth and journey of healing to read/write/say to yourself. I find that with complex trauma, I’m inclined to connect other times I’ve felt hurt in the same way; it had a huge impact on my self-worth and the inner-dialogue I have about myself. I remind myself that I am worth the effort of using the tools I have. I am safe. I can handle feelings of rejection. And I am going to make it through this just like I have any other tough situation. You are still doing well; reoccurrence of anxiety and paranoia does not negate how much progress you have made. It’s frustrating to have set-backs, for sure, but sometimes we just need the reminder that we are doing our best. And that is more than good enough, especially when you’ve got feelings that pop back up with varying intensity. You are capable of feeling the whole spectrum of human emotion, and I hope you can get to a point where the anxiety and paranoia aren’t so heavy.

Sometimes we have to reset or start again. I find that there are times that I have to be very conscious of keeping positive thoughts flowing until it becomes natural again. Each time a negative thought creeps in, consciously delete (ie: nope, I'm not going there) and replace it with a positive thought or affirmation.